Buddhism

So I am writing this essay on meditation in Buddhism. The subject is fine and I think I will complete my work within one or two days.

But after reading quite a bit about this religion/philosophy (at least seems quite a bit in such a short period of time as few weeks), I have to admit that... I don't get it completely! Am I really dumb? Or maybe I expected something huge, something revelatory and overwhelming, and I haven't found it?
In the end, I think I learned something about Buddhism but most of all - about myself. I absolutely, consciously, and even slightly unexpectedly, rejected Buddhism. I could, for the first time I guess, realise aloud that I do affirm life and I can't see any point it getting rid of suffering, detaching from desires, and aiming for... nothingness. What? Why?

Life is a gift. The most precious, the most beautiful, and the most fragile gift human beings could possibly imagine. If life is happens only once, then the challenge for each one of us is so much greater than if we could be reborn (the whole point of reincarnation is weird for me anyway, if according to Buddhist there is no self...) I don't want to run away from life, from desires, dreams, from people and places I love and from little things that make me happy. I know that one day it all will disappear, and I also know that on my way I will suffer not once or twice, but pain can only make my experience of life richer, fulfilled... I will not waste my chance.

If anyone would like to try to explain to me how come Buddhism is actually called optimistic, you are most welcome.